: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 :

 
Listening to: MXPX - Before Everything & After

I have a confession to make - the last confession of 2003: I've really been getting into the Lord Of The Rings movies!! I'm not a big fantasy fan, so I surprised myself by liking them so much, but yes, I am a big fan. I'll even be brave - and vulnerable - enough to admit that I fell under the charm of Aragorn ;) Not the actor, but the character. Alas, he is not real. Zoot!!
In other news, it's the last day of 2003. I've been snowaboarding only once so far - but the conditions were beautiful: sunshine, clear, powder...
I've been reading some really interesting and thought-provoking articles in a book called "Missing the Point: How the Culture-Controlled Church Neutered the Gospel", written by Tony Campolo and Brian McLaren. Good stuff.
I really need to start getting organised and detailed about next year. Time to pursue the connections I keep hearing about...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Hope everyone has a fun time ringing in the new year :)
rambled on byThais 9:56 AM

: Monday, December 22, 2003 :

 
Listening to: Something Corporate - North

Three days to Christmas... And it seems to be the trend to be thinking about the "real reason" we celebrate Christmas... Well, I was listening to a Christmas CD, and I was taken by Third Day's rendition of this song. Read the words, and think about their implications.

What kind of King would leave His throne
In Heaven to make this earth His home?
While men seek fame and great renown,
In loneliness our King comes down.

You left the sound of angels’ praise
To come for men with unkind ways.
And by this Baby’s helplessness,
The power of nations is laid to rest.

What kind of King would come so small,
From glory to a humble stall?
That dirty manger is my heart, too.
I’ll make it a royal throne for You.

Jesus, Jesus, precious One,
How we thank You that You’re come.
Jesus, Jesus, precious One,
A manger throne for God’s own Son.

My heart is a throne,
My heart is a throne for God’s own Son.

If I may add to the "What Is The Meaning Of Christmas" thoughts this year, I'd say it's humility.
We had a children's Christmas play at church a few weeks ago, and there was one scence that portrayed the angels in Heaven, looking down and commenting on Jesus' descent to Earth. One of the angels says "Looks like He's leaving Heaven... And He's laying His Glory aside!!".
The incarnation is... insane! I mean, it's like if I became a fly or something. God, the Creator of the Earth, the best artist, the best musician, the best thinker, the best EVERYTHING became a human being, a helpless BABY in order to reconnect us to Himself! If that isn't humility, I don't know what is...
So that's my 2 cent reflection on Christmas...
rambled on byThais 6:54 PM

: Thursday, December 18, 2003 :

 
Listening to: It's Christmas Time - City on a Hill
Reading: Prayer And The Art Of Volkswagen Maintenance - Don Miller

I am exhausted and burnt out and wanting a vacation. This is the time when my true character comes out. And guess what - it's not very godly. I get frustrated, I get critical, I see the worst in people and situations. I don't want to serve; I want to be served.
And God (or rather the convicting Holy Spirit) says: "You think you're a mature Christian? Let's see how much you love at this time when you're exhausted"
And the truth is, I don't love very much at all.
Here is how one person paraphrased the love passage in First Corinthians:
"Love is patient with people. Love demonstrates kindness by actively doing good on behalf of others. People who learn to love are not envious of the earthly posessions or spiritual gifts of others. And people who love with God's love are not proudful or boastful - they don't have an inflated sense of their own importance.
Those who learn Christlike love are unselfish, slow to anger, and do not keep long records of the wrongs that have been done to them.
Christlike love calls us to credit the best of motives to others and to create a spirit of trust. That's what it means that love always trusts and always hopes." (taken from Walking As Jesus Walked - Sonlife Ministries)

This kind of love cannot be faked - it comes with maturity in Christ. It comes with time, and with lots and lots of communing with Jesus. There isn't much question as to what I need to go do... Only in this way will I slowly and authentically be transformed into the character of Christ, who loved even when He was exhausted and burnt out.
rambled on byThais 11:39 AM

: Sunday, December 14, 2003 :

 
Listening to: Matchbook Romance - Stories and Alibis

My sister is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) My abs will be strong again from all the laughter ahead of us. I'm reading a book by Henri Nouwen called "The Return of the Prodigal Son". It's really good - especiall when he talks about the "foreign land" and what it's like to live there: what life becomes when we start doubting God's grace and acceptance, when we put into question our complete sonship. Insightful stuff. And that's about it for today!
rambled on byThais 10:22 PM

: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 :

 
Listening to: emo shtuff (Acceptance, Dasboard, Mae, Noise Ratchet...)

I just saw the moon bigger than I've ever seen it before. It looked HUGE. I tried to find somewhere to stop and look at it, but I couldn't find one. So I drove home instead.
Another fascinating piece of news: I activated my new debit card about five minutes ago. Thais gets to go internet shopping again!

Last night, I let my imagination and dreams run wild. Actually, it started earlier on that afternoon, as I spoke with Denise (my mentor). I was telling her about what I want to do next year. And out of nowhere, I started talking about how cool it would be to just drive around the US of A for a semester, visiting postmodern churches, soul-searching, and just being on the road. I guess it was a dream I'd never given much thought to.
So last night, I looked up a bunch of postmodern church sites. And they just increased my desire for doing that. Maybe I could even intern at one for a while. If I don't do it soon, then when?
Check out:
ApostlesChurch (in Seattle, WA)
The Bridge (in Portland, OR)
Ecclesia (in Houston, TX)
That should give you an idea of what I'd be interested in doing. And what I'd be interested in perhaps planting one day. Maybe. In a long time. Somewhere down the line.

I am really starting to understand how the Church is first and foremost a community. You can't just gather on Sunday and sing a few songs together. You have to share your LIFE with the church community. Church needs to be a community - the body of Christ. You need it, and it needs you. You give, and you take. Working at a church is really teaching me a ton about this. I love it!
Ok, I need some dinner...
rambled on byThais 6:44 PM

: Tuesday, December 02, 2003 :

 
Listening to: Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American

I just read today's Oswald Chambers devotional. And God gave me a cool train of thought. Let me try and explain it... (this is plagiarised from my not-online-private-journal)
"I am called to live in such a way that my life produces a yearning for God in the life of others, not admiration for myself" - O. Chambers.
It would be so cool if my life produced a yearning for God in others people's lives. This kind of goes along with what Piper says: the more satisfied we are in God and the more we are enjoying Him, the more we bring glory to Him.
The quality of my relationship with the Person of Jesus should awaken that hunger for God in other people's lives. So my relationship with Jesus must be central to my life. It must be vital!
How do I do that? It's almost like I'm asking the very basic question, What does a relationship with Christ - a real and living one - look like? How do I fall in love with Jesus?

I'm thinking about how we talk to other people about someone we are in love with (or have a serious crush on). Say I have a crush on X. I will tell a few people about why I like X. And the more I talk about X's qualities and strong points, the more I realise there really are a lot of them. The more I think and talk about these qualities to my friends, the more I think that I am justified in liking and being attracted to X. Right?
Well, it needs to be the same with Jesus (important note: I am not saying we are supposed to have a crush on Jesus; that would be rather "improper" for me to say. Plus, I have issues with people who take a "Jesus-is-my-boyfriend" look at the Christian life...) I need to think and talk about those qualities I like about Jesus. And the more I think and talk about those qualities, the more I will realise how truly awesome He is! In a way, worship isn't worship unless it's shared... When you really like something, you want to share it with other people - or at least share the excitement of it.
So the more time I spend learning about Him (from the Gospels, mainly), and the more time I spend WITH Him (just being with Him, mainly), the more I will get to know these qualities :)

My conclusion is: read the gospels over and over and over again. And spend lots and lots and lots of time in the company of Jesus. Do this because the quality of your relationship with Christ is the most important thing to ever invest in.
rambled on byThais 8:44 PM

: Monday, December 01, 2003 :

 
Listening to: Dashboard Confessional - A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar

One of my friends often quotes the sentence "hope deferred makes the heart sick".
I was talking to my sister on the phone last night, and she said she'd read Romans 5:5 and thought of me. It says:
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
I feel like I'm getting more and more cynical by the day. Disappointment with people just keeps piling up - and it leaves me very cynical. People say things that they don't mean, and they make promises they never intent to keep.
But God will not disappoint - or rather, the perseverance of hope in God and what He promises will not disappoint. That doesn't mean I will not experience disappointment. But it does mean that perserverance through it is worth it. God promises so.
Gotta run.

rambled on byThais 5:56 PM