: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Shane & Shane - Clean

Sometimes, I feel like I should take a vow of silence for a few months.

"I can get so out of bounds when I try to be clever
Always shootin' off at the mouth, empty words
Cause it's all powerless sound, like the clash of a cymbal
Unless love finds a way out to be heard."
- Ross King, Thoughts On Love

rambled on byThais 10:34 PM

: Sunday, October 24, 2004 :

 
So yeah. I bought the ticket today. I am definitely going to Northern Thailand, to volunteer at a boarding shool for four months. Yep, it's true. I'm leaving November 3rd, returning March 15th. Craziness!! I don't think I've realised yet.
Wow, I can't even begin to think about how scary, thrilling, new, exciting, different, weird, heart-breaking, fulfilling, crazy it's gonna be.
But hey. I've been waiting for three months. The opportunity presented itself, or rather, God dropped it into my lap, and yeah, I guess I took it! There's so many things I'm nervous about. And so many things I'm excited about.
Anyways, I'll keep you posted. The next 10 days are going to be insane, trying to see everyone and get all the paperwork administrative stuff done and buying the things I need. Like skirts. HA! Alright, well, just giving you the latest news....

rambled on byThais 9:25 PM

: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 :

 

Listening to: Sarah McLachlan

I just watched Sarah McLachlan's video for the song World On Fire.

Watch it here: ::World On Fire::

Seriously, click the link and watch it. Now.

Wow. It made me think. A lot. About how much money is wasted on entertainment.
It made me wonder how the "Christian Music Industry" works. And how much money Christian musicians make. And what they do with that money.
It made me think about how I use my money.
Yikes.
And then we wonder why people starve and suffer and can't afford education and don't have running water or electricity.

rambled on byThais 9:17 PM

: Friday, October 15, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Caedmon's Call - 40 Acres

I picked up John Piper's book "A Hunger For God" last night. Wow. The way he writes about God, the way he longs for Him and wants to be in His presence is both inspiring and convicting. A few extracts:

"The birthplace of Christian fasting is homesickness for God. [...] If you don't feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great. [...] Fasting forces us to ask repeatedly: do I really hunger for God? Do I miss him Do I long for him? Or have I begun to be content with his gifts?"

Convicting, to say the least. Convicting because I know I'm satisfied with lesser things and I don't do anything about it. Convicting because I know I turn to friendship and being liked instead of turning to God to fill that longing for connection. Convicting because my hunger for God is so often mentioned but so rarely acted upon.

Last night I lay in my bed thinking of how scary it would be to actually leave for Thailand in less than two weeks. Most of the fear has to do with letting go of these lesser things... And so this book, once again, comes just in time, it seems.

So in the words of Shane Barnard, another one of those inspiring guys, my prayer is: Lord, i want to yearn for You, I want to burn with passion over You and only You Lord. I want to yearn.

rambled on byThais 2:19 PM

: Tuesday, October 12, 2004 :

 
I met with a lady from church whose sister has just become the manager of a boarding school in Northern Thailand, close to Chiang Rai. I was contacted by her directly yesterday, and she said there was a place for me there, if I wanted. The work there would mainly consist of hanging out with and teaching kids aged 6-16, attending the school from the surrounding mountains. Their semester starts October 26th. That's in two weeks! I don't know if they want me there by then, but that's some pretty fast decision making that needs to happen on my part... I love it though. I hope it works out. The opportunity definitely seems like a God-send to me.
If this is where You want me, God, then help me let go of my petty hesitations when the time comes to have to let them go... Cause I know it won't be easy, and I'll need Your help.

rambled on byThais 3:14 PM

: Wednesday, October 06, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Matt Brouwer - Imagerical

I just got a long personal email from Ross King . I love the way this guy thinks. And I love the songs he writes. Yay. He made my day. :)

rambled on byThais 11:50 PM

: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Charlie Hall - I Will Overcome

"I can see that my hands are trembling,
I can see that my legs are weak,
I can see that my head is spinning,
But I will overcome.

And I know that my heart is hurting,
I know that my soul it aches
And I know that it seems I'm failing,
But I will overcome.

O Lord I'm strong in You,
O Lord I am wise in You
O Lord I can see in You,
So I will overcome.
O Lord I'm loved by You,
O Lord I am free in you
O Lord I'm complete in You
So I will overcome."

I've known this song for a few years. But today, it echoes my heart in a way it never has before. I feel a little broken right now. I've been reminded of how sinful my heart is. How it seeks people's approval more than it seeks relationship with God. How it's prone to self-sufficiency. How it's compulsive, and prideful, and idolatrous.
But it's a good thing to be reminded of such things. I feel more "sensitive" to God. I feel closer. More dependent, even. I also know there's a whole slew of things I need to work through and pray through.
And hey, I will overcome, "not by my stregnth, but by Your grace and love."

rambled on byThais 10:33 PM

: Friday, October 01, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Robbie Seay - 10,000 Charms

Ok, let me just say that I love the Church. I love my Church. I love it that people actually care about what is going on in my life. People that I wouldn't expect to care or be concerned. And people are praying for me!! Wow. How overwhelming and heart-warming and crazy and grace-filled and everything else that is good!
I love it that God has designed Church the way He has. Imperfect people, granted; but God still choses to shine through us, and to work through us, and to encourage through us.
Thank You, Father!!!

rambled on byThais 11:14 AM