: Sunday, February 29, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Shane Barnard - Psalms

Our worst sin is prayerlessnss, because of what it says about who we really think is in charge of the church and the universe. God save us from the people who would renew the church and bring justice in the world without praying. Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, they are more dangerous than the wrongs they would set right. -- P. T. Forsyth

Wow. Guilty as charged.
rambled on byThais 6:21 PM

: Thursday, February 26, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Robbie Seay Band - 10,000 Charms

Just had a really long conversation with Larry - there's tons of things running through my mind. We talked about fasting. We talked about the future. We talked about the whole women in ministry and submission and authority and male headship thing. We talked about frustrations and youth ministry and church in general. Good stuff. I need conversations like that to keep me sane.
I'm still thinking about a good Lent thing to do... I want to make these 40 days to Easter something deep. Really get ready for the celebration of the resurrection, you know? I'm thinking of different kinds of fasts, and things of the like...
Anyways, I was listening to Robbie Seay's song "Peace" on my way back from the meeting, and it really spoke to me. God just wants me to breathe in His peace... Yeah, my soul could definitely do with some peace...

breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
- [robbie seay - peace]
rambled on byThais 12:21 PM

: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Passion Worship - One Day Live

There's a song by David Crowder that goes:
"I'm so bored of little gods
While standing on the edge of
something large
While standing here, so close to You
We could be consumed."

I totally feel like that. God has so much for me. There is so much to be experienced! But I feel like I'm standing on the edge of it, watching it go by. I'm not connecting with God; I'm not depending on Him. I'm tired and burning out fast. I want to be back at that place where worship really flowed from the heart. I want to consumed while I stand here, so close to Him. And yet, soooooooooooooooo far...
rambled on byThais 11:47 PM

: Saturday, February 21, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Caedmon's Call - Home

I feel like I need to write something new on here... but truth be told: I'm not very inspired.
I've been really frustrated with youth ministry, recently. I just feel like I'm completely useless at it! I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with the worship band, and I don't feel like I'm influencing anybody to be more passionate followers of Jesus.
I *think* I'm pretty passionate about following Christ - but maybe I'm not good at transmitting that.
On the other hand, I'm aching for these kids. I want them to taste and see how good God is, and how exciting it is to follow Him. I want that so bad, and I'm stuck, cause I don't know how to do it. And then I also know that it's God Himself who draws people to Himself. I just want Him to do it, already!!
Maybe God is teaching me to rely more on Him, to really depend on Him, to do things in His strength and not on my own... I dunno... But I'm impatient and I'm frustrated... I want God to move!!! And if He is moving in ways that I'm blind to, then PLEASE OPEN MY EYES, God!!

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted."
-Psalm 34:18a
rambled on byThais 11:53 AM

: Saturday, February 14, 2004 :

 
Listening to: mae - Destination:Beautiful

Happy Valentine's Day!
I have no deep thoughts or insights about this day, my lack of a valentine, or the way love works. I could be depressed, or melancholy, or whistful - but yeah, I'm not really feeling it...
I must say, however, that I have the best friends a girl could ever hope for. Two of my friends, Josh and Brew, came to my grandma's funeral, and it meant the world to me. The world.

rambled on byThais 2:03 PM

: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Sky's The Limit - The Neverending Sessions

How much do you think of God as a Dad?

Today, I've been reminded about how awesome it is that God is referred to as our father. Our dad. Maybe this is because my Dad is really the coolest dad that's out there, I don't know.
But I was talking to him about snowboarding the other day, and I found myself telling him that I'd love have him backcountry skiing with me sometime, because when I'm with him I feel safe. Seriously, I feel so safe with my dad. If I'm in any kind of dangerous situation, there's no one else I'd rather be with! There's still that little girl in me that finds so much comfort in her dad's presence - he could save me from any kind of lurking boogey man out there!
Well, my dad's mother (my grandma) died today. And it is such a strange thing to see one's Dad grieve. It's more than a strange thing. It's uncomfortable. It's heart-breaking. It's unbalancing. Have you ever seen your dad cry? My own dad, the one who could save me from anything, shedding tears... It feels really weird. I don't know how else to say it.
But it's really making me think about God, and challenging me to think of him as my Dad - a dad who could save me from anything, a dad whose presence is the most comforting thing, a dad whose grief breaks my own heart just because it hurts him.
So yeah, that's all I have to say today... Keep my dad in your prayers if you can...

rambled on byThais 7:57 PM

: Sunday, February 08, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Sky's The Limit - The NeverEnding Sessions
Reading: The Gospel of Luke & Pride And Prejudice

I think I broke my left buttock snowboarding today. It hurts. Ouchies.

rambled on byThais 8:29 PM

: Monday, February 02, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Jesse Sprinkle - instrumental stuff

You bring all the little things together,
Without ever demanding my attention;
But it's about time I gave it to You.
Though I'm not sure quite how,
I know it will be beautiful
The day I fall in wonder of You.
rambled on byThais 10:30 PM

: Sunday, February 01, 2004 :

 
Listening to: Number One Gun - Celebrate Mistakes

I had the most incredible experience last night: I went with some people from my church to learn about the world of "squatters" in Geneva. Incredible! I saw a side of Geneva I had no idea existed! Bars, and concerts, and projects, and tattoo parlours all run by squatters and a group of Christians who take Jesus' call to help the poor and needy seriously! Amazing!
It was so inspiring to see these people's ministry; the heart they have for question-asking young people who ache for community and meaning. It's funny, because so much of the ideology and lifestyle of these squatters is similar to the first century church! These people that no one loves and no one respects, and at whom all the fingers are pointed - these squatters are bothered by what they're seeing in society and they're actually doing something about it!
Ok, so they have issues, and their ideology is naive, etc. But there is a lot more love and action and community in some of these squats than there is in a lot of Christian churches...
Plus, the brave Christians who are working with them are so inspiring. They're sacrificial, and servant-hearted, and courageous, and merciful, and loving! It's beautiful. You should hear the way they prayed for these people. And the projects they drew up to help them. And the love they showed to them. Wow! Truly, they are living out Jesus to these people who are in great need of a listening ear, a helping hand, an unconditional love.
I'm moved. I want to volunteer for this organisation. I really saw something of Jesus there. And I want to be part of it!

"I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.
I'm telling the solemn truth: whenever you failed
to do one of these things to someone who was being
overlooked or ignored, that was me - you failed to do it for me"
- Jesus [Matthew 25:43; 45]
rambled on byThais 10:19 PM